In theaters this weekend

Just Go With It: From what I gather, 55% of this movie is Adam Sandler gawking at Brooklyn Decker with his mouth open. One could argue, well, can you blame him? If Adam Sandler wants to stare at a bikini-clad Brooklyn Decker on his own time, that's one thing, but asking us to pay 12 bucks to see him do it sounds a little much. Not to mention that it's pretty damn hard for us to enjoy gawking at Brooklyn Decker if the movie keeps cutting to his mug. What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to see this movie.

Gnomeo and Juliet: Is the presence of garden gnomes enough to enliven the "Romeo and Juliet" concept? I don't know, but I do know I overheard some of Matt Lauer interviewing exec producer Elton John the other morning, and one of his questions went something like, "I didn't expect the music to be so outstanding. How did you make such a monumentally awesome collection of music, perhaps the best assemblage of words and tunes ever presented on film?"

The Eagle: This just looks like one of those cheap, half-assed attempts at period adventure/action. Maybe I'll be tempted to see it if there are some "decrapitations," as Beavis and Butt-head would call them.

Justin Beiber: Never Say Never: I'm sure you're as appalled as I am by the way every talk show on the planet has sucked up to the junior set the past few weeks by booking Beiber for appearances. I thought advertisers didn't care about that crowd. Whatever happened to the good, old bias for 18-34-year-old males?