Channing Tatum and Jessie J Make Babies

I'm sorry to report to you ladies that celebrity mongoloid Channing Tatum is officially dating "songstress" Jesse J who I remember had a middling hit from some time in the early 2000s. I don't remember the name of the song or how it went but I remember hearing it. I'm pretty sure she isn't that "Call Me Maybe" woman but she might be, what am I the Library of Congress?  For all I know she's bigger than Led Zeppelin now I can't be sure, I don't listen to shitty music. Listen, he was single for a while but you didn't move fast enough. You really have to be on your toes when a guy like that is single. He's a man of action. You might think I'm being a little harsh but don't worry I'm pretty sure he can't read this. Anyway, I hope they get married and have lots of kids where they can enjoy eating paste and mud together as one big happy family.